STAGES OF SEX EXPERIENCING

Orlin Baev

web | Transpersonal psychology. Sacred sexuality

The First Two Stages

The first two stages of sex experiencing were described above.

The first and most popular stage, the one of the ordinary animal intercourse, degrades human biochemistry powerfully, and the mental consequences are: painful thirst for new passion, primitive lust, irritation, anger, aggression and violence, concern and anxiety, loss of courage, replaced by fear, concealed by aggression; decreased initiativity and social activity, loss of inner connection to the other human beings and life in general, isolation in the shell of the small selfish ego - egocentricity; cognition narrowing to the most elementary domestic activities, loss of the brightness of the mind and joy of life, the sense of beauty and fabulousness, the bursting vitality that gives meaning to any manifestation of our lives.

The second stage - the one of the holotropic sexuality (directed to the whole) raises the experience of sex one step higher. The activated hormones and neurotransmitter processes alleviate the above mentioned states by turning the sexual intercourse into meditative, connect it to the human soul, which is fed by it. The fatigue after the intercourse and a certain "descent" in the energy level present, but they are much smoother and surmountable. Deep energy exchange takes place between the partners and their energy is felt by each of them - days after the intercourse. The powerful animal instinct is catched and its energy is used for the higher humanity in us - for the humanity in the human being. During such an intercourse, holy states of connection to the partner, the life itself, states of supreme bliss and happiness, harmony and feeling of unity with our internal wholeness are experienced for hours.

However, this level is only one of the possible steps from the ladder of the infinite possibilities of Love. Because sex in us is only a projection of Love. The Hindu philosophical thought likens sex with the stream of the river Ganges. Clean and clear, full of life and brightness in its springs, the river mixes more and more with the sediment and pollution along its stream. In the same way, Love, Wisdom and Will, representatives of the real humanity in us, in the process of merging with the body of a mammal, by which we manifest ourselves, lower more and more to its purely instinctive passions and impulses, detrimental for the human cognition, when our minds allow themselves to identify with them.

As for the holotropic sexuality, there are more pros than cons. When the purpose of a man is just a harmonious life, physical and mental health, the holotropic sexuality satisfies very well these objectives. However, if the individual feels irresistible desire for development of his/her knowledge, will and joy, for a stronger and more confident expansion of his/her cognition and consciousness, then the sublimation of sexual experience goes to an even higher stage.

The third stage of sexual sublimation is chastity.

Chastity

There is a common interesting idea of chastity. People think that chastity is something painful, something hard, a state of privation and unhappiness, of sacrifice and sorrow. Nothing is father from reality.

Chastity is exactly sexuality; sex experienced nearer to its source - the Love.

In each of us, there is a man and a woman. All of us have left cerebral hemisphere, working on logical, male principle, as well as right one, functioning on image, intuitive female principle. One of them prevails in us and this, together with the sexual differences, determines us as a male or a female. In the millennia of experimental wisdom, which the transpersonal (esoteric) psychology has at its disposal, it has been proven, long ago, the practical way for development of the personality. One transfers his/her sexuality at internal level, and finds the unity, otherwise experienced during the short moments of the sexual intercourse, in merging with his/her internal anti-polarity. Religion calls this anti-polarity Deity (Goddess, God), modern psychology refers to it as to the Anima / Animus, esoteric wisdom of Hinduism as Shiva / Shakti, Vishnu / Saraswati, Taoism as Yin / Yang, astrology- as Sun / Moon, etc. At chromosomal level, the DNA spirals are double woven, the essence of each energy is emissive - receptive, electro-magnetic ...

In chastity, sexuality is experienced in a fine implicit way. The intersexual merging is transferred to merging between the left and right brain hemispheres, between the will and intuition, between the logic and feelings, Anima and Animus (soul and spirit). Harmony and joy of existence become a permanent background of life.

The orgasm during the normal sexual intercourse lasts only seconds, and is followed by emotional and hormonal collapse. During the holotropic sexual intercourse, the orgasm (valley orgasm) lasts dozens of minutes, an hour or more, and it is experienced at a fine spiritual meditative level as concentrated joy and powerful bliss. Such an intercourse is infinitely more qualitative in terms of human integrity - but it is only a step for more powerful and total experience of orgasm.

In chastity, when one is mentally ready for it, orgasm spreads in one’s life, in each action, feeling, thought - as an internal ecstasy, powerful joy that accompanies the individual in his/her path of life.

Chastity accumulates mental tranquility, emotional stability, cheerfulness and optimism, feeling of fabulousness and beauty, admiration from life and astonishment from the "ordinary" daily routines, which for a chaste man turn out to be filled with the secrets of life.

The emotional stability and intelligence, which chastity presupposes, serve as the basis for developing of more powerful cognition: memory becomes clear and helpful; one easily achieves access to the depots of his/her long-term memory. The short-term, working memory begins to work much more effectively and the memory traces are deep and long lasting. Concentration and attention become one-way directed and strong, the ability for parallel work on several sensory channels increases or the object of attention and meditation becomes a reality. Intellect clarifies and its sharpness and perspicacity strengthen. Details and even small ones of the everyday life that have escaped our attention, are now perceived, for instance: the elements of nonverbal communication and body language. Prerequisites are created for the development of sleeping associative zones in the brain,of the intelligence and wisdom.

While dealing with meditative methods, it is possible clairvoyance and achievement of access to different from the normal levels of knowledge and experience to be developed.

Behind the affective and cognitive changes, a change in the biochemical stocks stands. The brain level of dopamine is high; the level of testosterone, oxytocin, endorphins and encephalins grows in direct proportion to the time of maintained chastity. If, at the artificial external injection of hormonal or mediator preparations, the receptors for their perceiving and activation gradually block and decrease their number, this does not happen during the natural hormonal accumulation. The body goes to a more powerful, optimized mode of action and healthy functioning. The basic neurosis, which is widely spread amongst the modern urbanized people, due to hormonal and emotional disorders, is parried. The emotional lability turns into emotional stability.

One wrongfully artificial and false idea as of something unnecessary and atavistic has been created round chastity. I dare to claim that humanity, from now on, is to scientifically study and explane this natural method for development of the consciousness and achievement of physical and mental excellent health. Chastity does not deprive the practitioner of anything, but brings him/her qualitatively new and different levels of experiencing the existence, joy and bursting vitality, filling each nuance of his/her life. Chastity is just a transfer of the sexual experience to a higher and cosmically resounding platform.

In order chastity to be safely practiced, one must be ready for it. If it is imposed by force, and one has no the required psychological readiness and maturity, it will inevitably lead to neurosis or development of perversions. As the saying goes: "The elephant’s load will squash the donkey". During the establishment of chaste experience of sex, effort is needed, but not force.

The method for psychological preparation, which prepares the thoughts, feelings and deeds for chastity, is sublimation. Here are some specific approaches for chaste sublimation:

• Social activity

The social activity is as a natural result from the practicing of chastity, as well as a means of keeping it up. When the sexual power is not used in the usual primitive way, it looks for a channel for its exit and the first direction, in which it finds it, is exactly the social activity. If with the previous degrees of experiencing sexuality, the social activity has been an obligation and routine, now it turns into joyful necessity. The love towards people occurs spontaneously from inside. The chaste person is endlessly more patient, more forgiving and accepting people than the person, practicing ordinary sexuality. One begins to feel his/her unity with all people, experiences them not only as brothers/sisters, but also as a part of his/her spirit. The joint life, the care towards the other person, the selflessness and altruism naturally penetrate into the mental attitudes of the chaste individual.

• Meditation

When one feels an appeal for development and makes an attempt for transfer of the sexual experience at an implicit level in the form of chastity, he/she usually clashes with the power of the habit in him-/herself. Mental practice is established, a procedural memory, an automatic subconscious habit, which begins to claim its satisfaction. Persistent thoughts appear - images of a sexual intercourse, combined with lust, which push one towards performance of the ordinary intercourse. At the beginning they are weak and within the normal frames for one young person. But in the course of keeping up of pseudo-chastity they strengthen and turn into real obsessiveness. Then one realizes how dependent on the intercourse is. As I mentioned above, mental and spiritual maturity is necessary in order one to go to chastity. Of course, it comes with certain efforts. These efforts are applied in the process of sublimation. However, it is good to remember that each development happens slowly, step by step - when the appeal of the sexual drive is too strong, and the channels - open by the mediation (the undeveloped associative brain zones), are weakly established, and then, it is normal one to turn back to the holotropic (meditative) love intercourse. The development is like a spiral and a certain conscious going downwards provides consecutive higher climbing.

If we have obsessive sexual thoughts and passion, the meditation is practiced in the following way:

1. Deification - each trace of struggle against the thoughts and their saturation with negative touch need to be eliminated. Instead of this, the scenes, which are played in front of the internal screen, are saturated with a feeling of sacrality, divinity, and sex is seen as a merging between the two spiritual halves in us - Anima and Animus, Shiva and Shakti, Yin and Yang ... In order the images and passions to be transformed, they have to be totally accepted, without any rejection or doubt.

The practical transfer of the sexuality into fasting - the conventional chaste process of its experiencing is realized by directing the thoughts and feelings in question to the energy body, the body of light. It has negative energy charge for the man, and for the woman - positive. The sexual impulses are redirected inwards, to their source, which leads to progressive mental integration. The subtlety of the method is literally the opening of the cognitive-affective components in the energy of our internal antipole - Anima/Animus (depending on our sex). In other words, the natural transfusion of the obsessive thoughts and passions into the energy realization of the meditation - Mahamudra (see below).

2. Deep breathing with the movement of energy along the spine - the so called spinal breathing. In the various transpersonal (esoteric) schools, the movement of the energy varies along different channels - it is possible it to be performed only along the spine or along the back channel (the spine) and the front one. The arms and legs can be also included. In the advanced practices, the body is only a crossing point, and the movement of the energy circulates from the center of the earth, through the whole body, to the sun (the stars) and vice versa.

The general principle is that during breathing in, the energy goes up, and during breathing out - down.

These practices stir the libido power throughout the whole body, connect it to the tissue of the Nature. It is important to know that in addition to the spatial movement of the energy, the practice is also connected to the different levels of the consciousness: during breathing in and holding of the breath with filled lungs, the center of the self-consciousness connects to the superconsciousness, and during breathing out and holding of the breath with empty lungs, connection to the subconsciousness is realized.

3. Mahamudra (I have borrowed the term and approach from the Tibetan Buddhism) - the meditation of the great seal is the most powerful and natural method for sublimation, in which case natural connection and grafting (P. Danov, M. Ivanov) of the saturated with passion images to the direct experiencing of the superconsciousness take place. In practice, the process proceeds in the following way:

Meditation is performed after the above two exercises: We have deliberately deified the sexual scenes and used them for circulation of the power. Then we simply transfer the center of our attention in the Self, stand aside as an outside observer. The thoughts-passions try to grip us, they succeed at times, but we again detach them tenderly and watch them from aside, from the position of the silent witness in us. Gradually the free space of the meditation increases, and the power of the obsessive thoughts decreases. Then the natural "sucking up" of the images take place in the clear awareness, and they dissolve to their primary source of pure light. Simultaneously, the painful powerful passion connects also spontaneously to the the pure joy of the superconsciousness and turns into tender harmonious love - love without an object, as a principle. Exactly sublimation of the primitive passion to higher Love is performed. Instead of denial and dissociation, the practitioner uses the passion as raw fuel that feeds the core of his spirit!

It is important to be understood that exactly the lack of struggle allows the process to take place naturally and smoothly. Our small ego, in this case, does nothing - the control is in the hands of that observer, Self, Metacognition in us, which is the source of all our social and cognitive ego-models and personal roles.

© Orlin Baev
© Galina Markina - translated from bulgarian
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© E-publisher LiterNet, 29.12.2010
Orlin Baev. Transpersonal psychology. Sacred sexuality. Varna: LiterNet, 2010.