PSYCHOTERAPY. AFFECTIVE RESTRUCTURING

Orlin Baev

web | Transpersonal psychology. Sacred sexuality

Theoretical Foundation

Human consciousness is a complex system, composed by numerous layers, waves and streams, operating or potential ones. For the purposes of simplifying my presentation, here, I will reduce the manifestations of consciousness up to three basic spheres of manifestation: conscious, subconscious and superconscious. In the language of the neuro-sciences, these three components of the cognitive architecture would be expressed in the following way: consciousness and self-consciousness - higher cortex functions; subconsciousness - subcortex old brain structures, as well as the most ancient partition of the cortex - the limbic system; superconsciousness - the passive spheres of cognition, the associative undeveloped brain zones and neural networks.

The subconsciousness in us includes the characteristics at all levels of the evolution before the man - plants and animals. It bears our instinct-urge impulses, the most primary inborn mechanisms of surviving, feeding, sex and confirmation of the personality. One isolated sphere of our subconsciousness, which Freud calls "IT", and Jung - "Shadow", is, figuratively said, situated most closely to the consciousness, and covers all unwanted by the individual thoughts, feelings and urges, against which he/she struggles and which he/she tries to eliminate from the sphere of his/her consciousness. An anatomic correlate of the subconsciousness in us is the ancient brain structures of the subcortex, as well as the oldest partition of the cortex - the limbic system.

The superconsciousness, on the other hand, is the undeveloped potential of the man, his/her future, wisdom, universal knowledge and love, harmony and truth. Looked from a biological point of view, the superconsciousness correlates with the undeveloped brain sections, associative zones, neural connections and processes. As we know, the brain of the contemporary person functions by barely 3-5% of his/her potential capacity. The superconsciousness is our higher Self, the Divinity in us, the postconventional and postformal consciousness, outlogical operations on the basis of the intuition, the direct insight and non-dual comprehension. In cognitive psychology, this internal integrative center is called "metacognition".

The consciousness in us, with its center of self-consciousness (ego), is the leader of the complex processes in the human mentality. The consciousness is more narrow or wider, depending on the individual evolution, the degree, to which he /she has managed to widen his/her penetration into the labyrinth of the subconsciousness and the heights of superconsciousness, to include them into the range of his/her functioning. The self-consciousness is a result from the evolutionary development of the subconsciousness, as well as an involutionary projection of the superconsciousness. It is the control desk of the process, called - man.

My personal experience, unanimously supported by the empiria of billions of investigators in the sphere of mental structure in the course of decades, speaks about the following: the stronger we strive towards wisdom and widen our knowledge in the sphere of superconscious experiences, the deeper we enter into the abyss of our subconscious hell. Simultaneously. According to my personal investigations, no matter how modest they are, the development is a bilateral process. A splendid illustration of this process is given by the great Bulgarian psychologist, philosopher and theologists Peter Danov. Peter Danov compares the process of the harmonious growth of the human consciousness with the development of a plant. A good metaphor for a similar analogy is the lotus. At first the seed of the flower is closed in its shell. Afterwards, its leaves and root show out gradually, but, still, the whole plant is under the ground, in the wet and fertile, but dark soil. According to me, the bigger part of mankind is in such a state, still locked in the two-dimensional rough views and vision. After that, the roots penetrate deeper into the soil, and the stem makes its way out through the mud of the slime and enters the water. While the stem powerfully develops and irresistibly strives towards the light of the sun over the water, the roots of the plant increase their volume and depth, entering deeper and deeper into the darkness of the hard matter. Analogically to this state is the consciousness of a man, who has overgrown his/her two-dimensional material perspective and has dared to enter into the unconscious regions of his/her consciousness, in his/her spiritual superconscious (transpersonal, postconventional, penetrating /Ken Wilber/) dimensions and into the dark, but saturated with valuable experience darkness of his/her subconsciousness. By continuing to follow his/her endless striving for the power, light and warmth of the sun, the stem of the plant reaches to the surface of the water, works its way through the thin drape between the liquid and air matter and finds itself in one much more delicate and light world. During that time, the roots of the lotus have penetrated powerfully downwards into the soil, hugged the rocks on their way, and laid the solid foundations for the development of the whole plant. This stage corresponds to the penetrating of consciousness into the causal and non-dual states of perception, into the spheres of liberation and eternity.

Peter Danov teaches only in Bulgaria, but his disciple Michail Ivanov spreads the paradigms of his school in France, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, USA, Canada, Russia, Africa and Latin America. Michail Ivanov claims that human consciousness, the small self, the person, is a projection of one infinite and immortal person, of one Self (Individuality), which shows in accordance with the degree of development of the individual or the society, respectfully. "Man is a guest in the body of a mammal, but he/ she is just a lodger of this body, it is not his/her identity!", says Michail Ivanov. If we succumb to the impulses of the urge animal nature, which we inhibit, the fruits of our life will be as bitter as the fruits of poisonous thorns. The beast in us will command the direction of our life, and our real human essence will serve it obediently and humiliatingly. Practically such is the state of the consciousness of a big part of the individuals in the contemporary social human flock. As I have already mentioned the way out from this slavery state is not the struggle. Since we are inextricably bound to the animal in us, by our subconsciousness, the old brain structures, the body physiological, hormonal and biochemical processes, if we struggle against them, the result will be only physical illness and mental regress. We cannot run away from our shadow. It will always follow us, everywhere. Whole communities and peoples live with the puritan moral of the dual consciousness - good, evil; pure, vicious; holy, dishonest... Instead of combining these natural dichotomies, people are taught to contradict them, to split their personalities into incompatible mutually-exclusive parts. Such a dissociated consciousness projects the struggle with its weaknesses in the others and imputes its own sins to the people round it. As result of that endless interpersonal and social tensions arise, and the struggle moves to a social level, in the forms of wars and devastation. Devastation, which is a direct reflection of the internal mental defeats, obtained as a result of the dualness and the internal mental wars of the individual. I mentioned above why such an ominous approach, leading to the bigger part of the poverty in our world, is spread.

The opposite solution - the devotedness to the "natural" impulses of the animal in us, shown through the apparatus of our formal-operational logical consciousness - is not better. Such behaviour leads to stupidity, regress, to animalistic state and primitivism, undermines the realization of the real function of the individuality, takes away the vitality of the libido and sticks one to the banal everyday life. The complete devotedness to the animal in us is just dashing to another extreme of the dual pendulum, swinging between the rough vibrations of the polarities lust (passion) and hatred (fear).

In order such a painful movement from the one to the other extreme not to happen, and a harmonic and operating process of stable development and realization of the purpose of our lives as Sensible People to be established, the beast in us shall not be suppressed, but harnessed. Harnessed with the bridles of our conscious human will, directed by the look of wisdom to the fabulously beautiful spheres of the superconsciousness, which are to be explored by us and tenderly managed by the all-accepting love of our emotional intelligence. The whole power that we have at our disposal is in those same primary impulses, which can either destroy us, or catapult us to the Heaven.

The symbolic representation of the process of becoming friends with our impulsive nature and its directing into the bed of the river of sublimation is the graft. When a gardener wants to grow a healthy and strong fruit-tree, which will give abundant fruit, live long and make glad everybody with its beauty and fertility, he uses the method of the graft. He connects the stem of a cultivated tree with the wild and non-cultivated, but tough, healthy and strong tree.

If the wild tree is let to itself, it will give small and astringent, unsuitable for anything fruit. If we plant a noble tree, it will live shorter; will be more susceptible to diseases and will give birth to frugal, although noble fruit.

In order a stable, healthy, unsusceptible to diseases plant to be obtained, which will give abundant and tasty fruit, the gardener connects the powerful energy of the wild tree with the qualities of the cultivated graft of the cultivated plant.

We, in our capacity as boundless noble creatures, put into the animal nature of our bodies of mammals, are exactly in the conditions of a psycho-physical graft.

The psychologists from the different trends have found out that behind the mental, emotional and behavioral life of the man, stands one control integrative center, internal observer, center of self-consciousness, around which the whole life of a man - physical and psychological converges.

In the cognitive and biological psychology, this center of self-consciousness is referred to as "supreme cortex inhibition functions". The psychoanalysis calls it "Self", and around this notion a whole school is formed: "Self psychology". The analytical psychology of Carl Jung also calls it "Self" or "Overall Personality". The psychology of the religion calls this primary cognitive focus in us "God", "Idol", "Divinity". The transpersonal psychology describes this primarity in us as "Superconsciousness", "Real man", "Supreme Self", "Individuality", and the qualities of this implicit integrative cognitive center are Will, Love and Intuitive Wisdom or Love, Wisdom, Truth; Sat, Chit Ananda (Light Joyful Consciousness); the three qualities of the fire - Light, Warmth and Power...The cognitive psychology refers to this implicit consciousness as metacognition.

This internal spring of wise cognition, joy and will for life is not an abstract structure, but the closest to each person source of really experienced harmony, power and implicit cognition. Our psycho-physical health and prosperity depend on the connection of our little person with this center and the quality of their relationship. The self in us is a manifestation of one more developed and sacred cognition, of which the everyday cognition functions are only reflection-result.

The method of connection with this natural source of braveness, power, optimism, confidence and will, is the realization. From the very beginning of the therapy, one is taught how to strengthen the relationship with his/her Self, to look the theatre of his/her psycho-emotional and social experiences, dramas and conflicts from his/her position and identify with it. The experience is like the climbing at a high mountain and a look from above at the own concerns and problems, mental labyrinths and schemes and emotional perturbations. From this position they seem small and insignificant. This experience bears immediate relief from the piled affective and cognitive load. This is the first step in psychotherapy.

The practical steps at this stage of the therapy are:

Self identification - finding of the center of bright joyful will.

1. Explanation of the mental cartography by the therapist

2. Volitional confirmations, combined with physical exercises with optimal effort and visualization:

- "I can", "Power", "Will", "Success", "I win", "Confidence"... - with physical exercises, requiring volitional effort;

- "Love", "Joy", "Nirvana", "Trust", "Beauty"... - with the visualization of pictures of nature, silence and calmness, happy moments;

- "Light", "Intuition"...- with the visualization of crystal colours consecutively and shading in each other.

3. Finding of the internal center - the patient (patients) is (are) asked to form a cognitive-affective mixture (image-feeling) of the three components of their higher Self: Will, Light, Joy, with the help of confirmation "Bright, joyful will" by consciously focusing on the experience, gained from the sensation of Joy, the sensation of Will and the visualization of crystal clear Light. Gradually, the three components - the visualization of light, joyous feeling and the sensation of volitional intention shall merge into a single experience, with which the patient identifies himself/herself.

Auxiliary method - guided visualization - the patient is put in relaxation (by slacking the muscle groups, achieving of emotional comfort and cognitive peace); an idea of climbing in the mountain is evoked - a beautiful mountain peak, full of greenery and harmony, comfort and fragrances. Man reaches the peak, leans comfortably against a boulder and looks on everything from above. He/she feels how small and insignificant things are, how transient and petty they are. He/she relaxes in a state of joy, liberty, freedom and light - and thus one is guided over his/her subconscious and daily conscious mental experiences, until he/she reaches the top of his/her Self and identifies with it, like with hard strong steady rock, against which he/she can lean steadily and experience his/her natural qualities of joy, light and freedom.

In order the technique to be successful, it is important the visualization to penetrate into the deeper layers of consciousness - to the alpha level (even theta) of the brain functioning. Such a visualization has a powerful remedial power.

4. Mahamudra (the great sign /Sanskrit/, raising over the internal dialogue, affects and experiences) - Clear awareness of the Self - Contemplation.

After having concentrated on the higher cognitive skills of the Self, the patient completely transfers the cognitive control in the hands of the Self. The thoughts and feelings, the inborn cognitive schemes and social roles, implicitly represented as cognitive models, are let to pass in front of Us, in front of the experience of bright, joyous and confident understanding of the Self, of the internal witness in us. The thoughts flow in front of us like a river. Consciously and willfully we do not cling to them, and we allow them to melt in the space of the clear light of the mind. The emotional states, evoked by the thoughts, are directly realized and dissolve naturally in the joy that is an intrinsic characteristic of the Self.

The technique is really achieved when the patient succeeds in experiencing consciously this state of progressive delay of the brain waves - up to alpha and even theta ones. This is not a dream, and a conscious penetration into the deep layers of consciousness. Such a conscious entry into the more subtle modalities of brain functioning hides powerful opportunities for conscious change of the deeply innate cognitive schemes and patterns at a mental, emotional and behavioral level.

Affective Restructuring - engrafting of the higher human cognition upon the wild pad of the problem

Grafting (English) is a metaphor for the functioning of human consciousness, borrowed from the botany. Similarly to the way a gardener engrafts a cultivated fruit-tree onto a wild and tough, but with bitter and worthless fruits, tree, the therapist directs the patient to the grafting of the supreme cognition of the Self with its attributes: will, joy and light on the wild pad of the existing problem, conflict, neurotic, nutritional, sexual, affective, etc. disorder ...

The existing problem is a powerful source of strength - in the processes of evoking and creation of symptoms, it concentrates in itself an enormous part of the libido charges of the mental functioning of the individual.

The rejection and the struggle against the problem strengthen it, establish it firmly and keep it up. The resistance against the concrete conflict activates pushing out of the components that evoke it to an unconscious level, from where it activates the shown concrete symptoms of the given neurotic disorder.

The solution is not in the struggle, but in the usage the power of the problem by our supreme cognition, in their uniting and turning of the problem into a reservoir of vital power. The problem, which has kept up the formation of symptoms by now, is realized and connected with the supreme cognition of the clear consciousness, will and joy of the Self, and in this way it disappears, and the mental system turns to a regime of harmonious healthy functioning.

A key element of the therapy is the attitude towards the disorder or the problem. Instead of struggle and rejection, the patient is advised to accept completely the problem, to chump up with it. This is a crucial step, which eliminates the established internal mental conflict, which actually keeps up and re-causes the symptoms. The acceptance of the problem allows the Self of the individual to connect with the piled up unconscious complexes, to become aware of them and work them off.

Practical methods of the grafting:

Deep Diving:

This stage of the grafting symbolizes the engrafting - the connection, the tying of the cultivated tree (the Self) to the wild strong pad (the treated problem).

A prerequisite for the execution of this technique is the patient to have managed to achieve a real experience of a certain connection and identification with the qualities of the Self, to have managed to look at the problem from the height of his/her internal center, to have established to a certain degree a stable core of integrated self-consciousness. This skill, like taking of a medicine, brings him/her relief, but only until the effect of the technique is over. In order the experienced mental integrity, joy and confidence of the Self to be able to cover all mental components, it is necessary the process of grafting to be prolonged.

Deep Diving:

The patient is being initiated in relaxation and is asked to establish a link with his/her internal cognitive center of self-confidence, joy, light and power and to maintain that presence of mind during the entire technique. The frequency of brain functioning for a powerful change is desirable to be as deeper as possible. Of course, not everyone can enter consciously into theta and delta brain frequency, but the alpha one is well within the reach of everyone, no matter how unprepared he/she is, with the help of the therapist.

Gradually intensifying visualization of the treated problem, phobia, depression, mania, etc. follows. Periodically, the visualization is replaced by an experience of identification with the Self. Deeper and deeper "diving" into the abyss of the problem, in the emotional perturbations, follows, and the patient learns to replace the avoiding of the conflict with its open welcoming, open experiencing, "eye to eye", and achieving of more and more comfortable zone during its experiencing. In a state of theta frequency of brain functioning, such a guided visualization is experienced as vivid conscious dreaming.

The piece of subtlety of the diving is one to learn to rely on the natural adaptive capabilities of his/her Self and this allows him/her to abandon his/her attempts of his/her small ego for control of the situation. Actually, exactly the inefficient defense mechanisms of the ego, of our small self, are responsible for the origination of unconscious psychological tension and the formation of phobic, anxiety, etc. disorders.

The link to and identification with the Self allows one to meet in the face his/her problem. Instead of avoiding its symptoms, he/she boldly goes through it to the end, already protected by his/her entire personality (Self, higher cognition) - this brave conscious immersion in the problem eliminates the skeleton of its origination and maintenance (non-acceptance, resistance, pushing out to unconsciousness and stirring-up of symptoms).

Connected in this way with the overall personality, with the higher cognition of Self, the problem disappears, because its very nature - its mental energy is transferred to the Self. The entire process is carried out in alpha, and if it is possible also in the theta state of brain functioning. A convenience for the therapist, here, would be the presence of feedback during the session - with actual measurement of the brain frequencies by EEG apparatus.

Taming of the Dragon

This level of the therapy is symbolized by the process absorbing of vital energy by the cultivated graft (the Self) from the wild, but full of vitality pad (the neurotic disorder).

In popular folklore from the whole world, from any point of the globe, the legend about the brave hero, who stands up fearlessly against the mighty fire dragon and defeats it, exists. The first part of the therapy: "Self Identification", symbolizes the start of personal maturing of the hero, his connecting to the internal source of courage, power, harmony and wisdom. The second level: "Affective Restructuring", symbolizes the hero's march to the dragon, as well as the brave battle with it.

The third stage of the "Affective Restructuring" therapy: "Dragon taming" corresponds to the obedience, the dragon taming by the hero and its harnessing. The hero gets on the dragon and by using the strength of its powerful wings, flies off to new lands and victories. The hero in us (the Self), has already subjected the dragon to the problem and harnesses its powers for progressing mental and social integration and self-actualization, personal development and flight to the unknown abilities of his/her cognition. In the metaphor with the botanical graft, this stage corresponds to the harmonious interaction between the wild pad and the graft of the cultivated tree, and the saps of the pad stream down to the graft and powerfully feed it with their energy.

The third level directly harnesses the fear, anxiety, depression, aggression, lust, etc. of the specific disorder and uses their energy as a pushing mechanism for integration and actualization of the "entire personality" - Self.

Note: A prerequisite for the third phase of the therapy is the passing through the first two ones. The first phase: "Self Identification", allows the establishment of joy, will and wisdom in the natural cognitive center. The second phase: "Deep Diving", allows, with the help of protection of the established stable endogenous mental center, the conscious penetration into the abyss of the problem, the neutralization of the conflict and the mitigation of the negative affects.

Fear - no matter if it is called fear or phobia (Greek), or anxiety, it is one and the same emotion in different modifications such as duration or specificity.

Fear, in itself, is a normal emotion, evolutionarily determined and naturally helping the development of the individual. Fear turns into pathological when it becomes excessive, obsessive, personality overtaking. In this case, the way out is in linking the excessive fear to the internal center of peace - Self. As a result from this, fear is mastered and it turns from a paralyzing horror into a stimulating propulsive impulse. Only a fool does not fear. Fearlessness is a myth for naive persons. The difference between a courageous person and a coward is that the first one manages to harness the fear in service of his/her higher cognitive functions.

Between the three components of the cognitive architecture of the man - consciousness, subconsciousness and superconsciousness; cortical functions, subcortex and supreme cognition respectively - linking stream flows permanently as a natural connection. When the Self (the superconsciousness), in its role of a higher integrative center, intervenes actively in the increased activity of the subconsciousness, the latter calms down and restores its healthy function of bearer of vital impulses, energy accumulator and servant of the higher cognition. For a person skilled in consciousness work, fear is a normal function that provides a pushing vitality for more active work of its higher cognitive abilities. It is a strong friend, an animal that only needs to be harnessed to serve its master - the Self.

Hardly fear can be completely sublimed - man is not a computer, but if a stable link is established with the Self, its manifestations are reduced to the normal boundaries, and the energy derived from it, serves as fuel for the human nature in man.

Fear is a passive emotion and in order to charge the higher cognition, a turn of its polarity into emissiveness is needed. This happens automatically, but is felt as a certain hindrance in the energy flow. Fear is the other face of anger. Unlike fear, anger is emissive and its turning into creativity is easier.

Anger - where fear exists, there is anger and vice versa. These rude emotions are both sides of one and the same coin - urge to death, mortido and urge to life, libido (Freud). The implicit procedure of anger harnessing in creativity is the same as with fear harnessing. The key moment is that struggle and attempts for contradicting and suppressing of anger are not needed, but its redirection. Channelizing to social activity and internal mental awareness. Awareness and transfusion of its power into the higher Self, the the eternal observer in us - Self.

When we have affective, neurotic, nutrition, sexual and behavioral disorders, it is directly worked with fear and anger.

Passion - a separate special section in this book is devoted to the libido and lust. In general, I can say here that passion is a powerful impulse, and if it is used in a primitive raw form, it destroys everything that is humane in man. Therefore it is necessary it to be engrafted, connected to the higher cognition of the overall personality, sublimated from lust into love and joy. Used in this way, passion serves the real human nature in man.

When we have addictions (drug, sexual, nutrition, etc. ones), it is directly worked with passion.

Concrete methods of "taming and harnessing":

Turning of fear, anger and passion into pushing power

If there is a good relation to the Self and identification with it, we ask the patient intentionally to cause his/her problematic state, which evokes in him /her fear, anger or obsessive lust (passion) - i.e. we pass through the first two stages of grafting therapy.

If the result from the second stage of the therapy is successful, the person will have developed some resistance and increased tolerance to his/her problem, as well as strengthened link to his/her higher Self.

The third stage of the therapy - the direct harnessing of the negative feelings - is a continuation of the second stage. During the second stage, the negative emotions are aroused and the thing that keeps up man in a situation different from his/her standard crises is the different level of awareness, experienced through the prism of the Self, the relationship with the tranquility of the deep levels of brain functioning (theta).

With harnessing, the heavy passions decrease more and more, and the bright, joyful and free cognition of the overall personality increase progressively.

Methods:

• Transfer - In a state of theta level, linked to the center of will, joy and light, the patient is guided in a visualization of the problematic state. The internal happiness, peace and power connect with the experienced fear, depression, pain, anxiety, compulsive addiction lust, etc. The patient is asked to visualize the metaphor of the botanical graft, where the cultivated tree symbolizes the deep joy, power and light of the Self, which unites with the saps of the wild pad of the problematic emotional or cognitive state. Visualization of the image of flowing of the saps of the pad (the problem) and their connection to the vitality of the cultivated tree (another suitable visualization is the taming of a dragon or the transformation of turbulent river water of the problematic affect from the hydroelectric power plant of the Superconscious cognitive mental center ). Man consciously experiences this implicit transfer, transfusion of the power of the problem into the peace and joy of his/her higher cognition. During the whole time, it is kept up as deeper state of the consciousness as it is possible, but in complete awakeness. Exactly that awakeness (conscious alertness), in a state of delayed brain waves, provides the mighty therapeutic power of the method. In this state, the brain treats the commands of the visualizations as real actions, and actual therapeutic changes occur in the mind and body.

During the transfer of the painful impulses and their transformation into peaceful bright joy, man really experiences therapeutic relief and healing changes.

• Mahamudra - here, the experience of Mahamudra, the pure awareness of the higher cognition, is stronger and more complete, because the link between all parts of the consciousness is present. While in the implementation of Mahamudra in the first part, there is some dissociation from the problem, here, the pure awareness "absorbs" it, pour its saps into itself in the most natural way.

The patient is guided in the implementation of the practice so that the clear awareness and identification with the internal center of will to remain just open to the problem. And, without any effort, the negative emotions or cognitive schemes melt into the experience.

Mahamudra is a practice of Tibetan Buddhism, well known by the explorers of consciousness.

Beta Grafting

The continuation of the therapy consists of principally the same as the above exercises and methods, but experienced in the usual beta level of brain functioning - within the frames of the therapeutic situation, as well as in real daily situations. The implicitly experienced successes and remedial therapeutic effects of the grafting method at teta level, are implemented at an ordinary, beta level of brain functioning, as well as in the social interactions.

1. Self identification - 3-7 consecutive series of bhastrika breathing (blacksmith’s bellows), followed by breath holding with air. During the holding, the attention and look are directed upwards - to the cortex of the cerebrum, and the affirmation: "Bright, joyful will!" is repeated. During the breath holding, the energy naturally saturates the brain and naturally evokes a feeling of joy, power (will) and light in the consciousness. After a comfortable holding of the breath, the air is smoothly released and after a minute of normal breathing and relaxation, the exercise is repeated.

2. Beta Mahamudra - consists of connecting to the center of will in a state of ordinary beta frequency of brain functioning. It consists of relaxation and withdrawal from the internal mental dialogue and emotionality. It is performed with open eyes. The thoughts, feelings and actions pass under the gaze of the renovating Self. The experienced feeling is for a powerful calmness, harmony, freedom, light, wisdom. This exercise develops the intuition and is a prerequisite for the awakening of the sleeping higher cognitive abilities.

3. Assertive training - the hindrances in one’s character are identified, and man is taught to concentrate on their opposite positive qualities. The social situations and the relative desadaptive cognitive models are specified. They are replaced by assertive, affirmative models of cognition and behavior.

The goals, the internal motivation, which stands behind them and the ways of achieving them, are determined. Skills for a more qualitative social exchange, abilities of a leader and rhetorical ones are formed.

Elements of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)

Goal

Each goal can be realized only if it is "taken down" from the abstract mental level to a real, concrete, applicable level in a current context.

Formulate your goal positively; put it in a context; express it by concrete, sensory terms; choose a goal that you can fulfill; assess honestly what the consequences of achieving this goal will be; choose a valuable goal.

Formulate your goal positively

The brain works so that when the formulation of a goal is negative, the effect usually is exactly the opposite. Not - "I do not want to be poor", but "I want to be rich." Not - "I must not be afraid any more", but "I will be brave!"

The thing that occupies our mind, voluntary or involuntarily, turns into behavior and reality. In order to find out what you do not want, you must imagine and feel it. The mind accepts these images and feelings for granted and inevitably implements them. If you tell someone not to think of his/her left leg, he / she simply must think of it in order to know what not to think of. When you are afraid of something and do not want it mentally, you experience it in your real life. This means that after answering the question "What do I not want?", we must focus entirely on "What do I want? ".

What do I want?

To know what you want is a rarely met phenomenon. Chose a clear and concrete goal, which you really want and which you are ready to devote to and follow with all your heart, soul and body.

Put it in a context - land it in real conditions:

• When, where and with whom do you want to obtain this result?

• Do you want this result for always or it is just a momentary whim?

• How much time do you need to achieve your goal?

• Are you sure that you want this?

• What will happen when you get a result?

• What will change in your life, when you achieve your goal?

"Weigh out" the weight of your choices! What worth and advantages belong to one of the variants and what to the other one?

Express your goal clearly, in concrete sensory images

Everything that is created in the world round us, at the beginning, it was just a thought in somebody’s mind!

Choose a really achievable goal

Consider your real chances, the real situation! The achieving of goals means to achieve your goals!

Ask yourself

- What will I do for achieving this goal?

- Can something prevent me from achieving this goal?

- May I take the responsibilities and the changes into my own hands and cope?

- How to achieve my goal?

- How do I see myself in the process of achieving?

- What chances do I have for achieving of my goal?

- Do I need help?

- What part from the achieving of the goal is in my hands?

- When do I expect to achieve my goal?

- When do I start working on its realization?

Choose a valuable for you goal

Choose a goal, which is important and wanted by you yourself, and not for the others. Connect to the deep aspirations of your creature and your long-term life goals. Use your intuition!

Make a plan for action

Imagine the steps, which you have to make for achieving your goal, clearly! Write them down. Break your plan down into subplans with consecutive smaller goals and a model for their implementation step by step, which will lead you to the main goal!

Motivation

You can achieve a significant goal, only if you have a resolute will, strong motivation, adamant fiery aspiration towards its achieving, persistence, determination, consistency, powerful zeal, which cannot be stopped by the difficulties!

Action

When you have a clear plan, a clear mind what you want to achieve, why you want it and how to do it, when you are strongly motivated, determined and have a fiery aspiration for achieving your goal, then only one thing misses: Action! Action, action, action! In order to achieve what you want in practice, you must embody your goal in reality! Man creates his/her destiny alone!!!

Communication

Equalization

We are prone to like people who are like us. We understand them and communicate with them better. They also like us. Here are the spheres of equalization (resounding) for building up of harmony with somebody:

• Poses and body movements

• Voice - tone, speech speed, timber, speech specificity

• Language and way of thinking

• Believes and values

• Experiences - finding of common interests and activities

• Breathing - equalization of the breathing - fine, but a strong way of resounding with the other person

Leveling (trust earning) and leading

When understanding and harmony with the interlocutor is achieved, we can lead his/her mind in the desired by us direction (e.g. during a therapy). During the leading, you gradually change the direction of the conversation and your behavior (while keeping up the understanding), so that the other person to start "following" you instinctively.

Leveling with groups and leading

Establish a connection with the leaders of the group. Level with them, earn their trust. The rest will automatically follow them.

Metaphors

Metaphors stimulate the right cerebral, subjective thinking - the unconscious levels in us. They connect us to the subconsciousness and its resources. They act as a linking unit between the consciousness and unconsciousness. Metaphors are used for:

• Simplification

• Depersonalization - allows you to stay out of the problem, dissociate you like the E-Prime method

• Stimulation of the creative thinking, because we are associated with our subconsciousness

• Attracting of the attention of the listeners. They are irresistible

• Overcoming the resistance - man can not struggle against metaphor

• Emotions generation

• Brief and clear determination of the problems

Here are some metaphors:

Put down roots; turn over a new leaf; sink into degradation; tail-wind; lay the foundation of sth; we reap as we sow; pull the strings; on oiled wheels; the best of both worlds; throw stones whilst living in a glass house; as clear as daylight; show the cloven hoof; clip the wings of sb; keep a tight rein on sb; be a spent force; face to face; shoulder to shoulder; tap the barrel, dip in the gravy; make a bed for oneself; yield to sb; Achilles heel; scared to death; dog does not eat dog; turn a blind eye to sth; put a spoke in sb's wheels; bell the cat, put one's head in the lion's mouth; fall head over heels in love with sb; ironclad agreement; see how the land lies; score an own goal, shoot oneself in the foot; stab sb in the back; starting position; get on sb's nerves, get out of hand; be up to one's neck in sth, eat one's heart out; it cuts both ways; here's the doll, give me the doll's clothes ...

Remark: the above lines are inspired by the book "NLP in 21 days", Harry Alder and Beryl Heather.

Taming of the Dragon of Success or Diving into Life.

The behavioral, practical processing of the problem in real daily situations follows.

After one has established a stable relation to his/her Self and a certain mental integrity from the mental experience of the mental diving, the therapy goes to the actual experiencing of a problematic for the patient situation in real conditions. Practically, these are the methods of affective restructuring, described above, but behaviorally experimented.

If somebody has a phobia, he/she is placed in the conditions of a real situation, which normally would cause his/her panic disorder. If the patient stutters, he/she is directed to an intensive daily communication - physical and telephone conversations. If he/she has obsessive thoughts, he/she is taught to real confrontation and grafting of the evoking the obsessive rituals fear, etc.

Auxiliary methods:

Breathing exercise, simulating an experience of fright situation (Panic breathing) - rapid and shallow breathing, accompanied by visualization of the problem situation;

Holding of the breath without air after exhalation, accompanied by visualization of the painful conflict, the affirmation: "bright, joyful will" and connection to the Self.

Breaking the control of the ego and its social dependence and repression (which are part of the mechanisms, which evoke neurotic behavior) and its (of the control) transfer in the Self: primary cry, free liberating movements and sounds, baby speech. Achievement of spontaneity, natural manifestation of the Self in the everyday life.

Remark: Since an enormous part of the neurotic disorders have not only an endogenous psychological etiology, but are also socially determined, these exercises may be executed not only in an individual therapy in front of the therapist, but also during group consulting, as well as in a real life environment (of course, in a more smoothed form). For example, considering the social phobia, one of the unconscious reasons for its existence is the fear of the social feedback. In this case, as an auxiliary method could be used, for example, masking in beggar's clothes and real experiencing of the role social situation of a beggar, which is an intensive confrontation with fear, evoking the social phobia. The therapist can use his/her imagination, depending on the concrete disorder, individual qualities and mental capacity for bearing straightforwardness and therapeutic intensity by the patient.

© Orlin Baev
© Galina Markina - translated from bulgarian
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© E-publisher LiterNet, 29.12.2010
Orlin Baev. Transpersonal psychology. Sacred sexuality. Varna: LiterNet, 2010.